Kindly Affectioned (part 2)
I was listening to Dave Ramsey's show on the radio as I drove through town one morning. Ramsey was interviewing an author, John G. Miller, who had published his recent book, Outstanding. The book sounded so interesting that when I got to the office I went online to the Dave Ramsey website and bought it. I also found that Miller had written two other books, QBQ and Flipping the Switch. You guessed it, I ordered all three. The problem was Dave Ramsey doesn't believe in or accept credit cards. The only way to order online was with a debit card or by drafting my checking account. Since I don't use a debit card, my only choice was to draft my account. The books were ordered and I read all of them within a matter of days. All was well until I got my checking account statement. There were two charges from a company I didn't recognize and there were no cancelled checks.
Now to the interesting part. I called the bank to complain about the charges and ask what to do. I was instructed to come in and file a fraud form and challenge the charges. I went down with my statement in hand. I was met by the bank president who happens to be the sanctuary adult Sunday School teacher at Montgomery First Assembly of God. He escorted me to his wife's office and Vicki was very informative. She told me I should call the telephone number listed with the charge on the statement then challenge the charge if I still felt the charge was invalid. I returned to my office and called the number. The kind lady on the other end answered, "Dave Ramsey's office." Now I felt foolish. I had to call and apologize to Vicki and explain my mistake. However, the three books were all written on the same subject, Personal Responsibility. How embarrassing. I was blaming the bank or some unscrupulous company, never considering it could be entirely my fault. I failed to post the draft.
When it comes to the way we deal with others, Mr. Miller writes in his book that the only person you can change is you. I know. It is tempting to find fault in others and set out to help them change, but the only way we can do that is by example and instruction. We only change from the inside, which brings me to attitude.
If we are to be "kindly affectioned" toward one another we must maintain an attitude that is as positive as possible. Our text says, "in brotherly love" and "in honor preferring one another." Verse nine says, "Let love be without dissimulation," which means without hypocrisy or pretending. You don't have to look far to find fault, failure, weakness; just look in the mirror. The change that needs the most attention is within ourselves, not someone else. In John G. Miller's book, QBQ The Questions Behind the Questions, a story is told of a lady supervisor who was having trouble with an employee. She couldn't get along with this young man. Later, he was transferred to another office and then returned to the same supervisor where they worked in total harmony. When asked how the young employee had changed, the supervisor said, "I stopped trying to change him."
The example you set will speak much louder than the instruction (nagging) you give. The prayers you pray will go much farther to resolve issues with others than the negative attitude you display. The scriptures are replete with instruction to pray one for another. The example Jesus gave carried the disciples into the first century of church history. We are in the twenty-first century of that same church and we still can't find a better way than to pray one for another and live a Jesus-filled life so others will want to follow.
The bottom line is our attitude will always determine how we see others. How we see others will always determine how we treat them. How we live and pray will influence how they change. Change comes from the inside. The only person I can change is me. Isn't that a liberating truth?
